the last shot

2004-05-21T20:48:00.000-07:00

there are not enough hours in a day and not enough days in a week. Eric ---> http://www.anime-chat.com/images/nataku3.jpg

2004-05-11T14:59:00.000-07:00

gee, living two lives is so hectic. i get wrapped up in one and then i have to turn around and be the complete opposite. sometimes i would kill to be back at salem, other times i celebrate to be elsewhere. either way, this is getting so difficult. i slipped up today and forgot which person i was. at any rate, i'm out.

thanks for the sign, i still dream sometimes as well.

2004-04-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

obstacles come up. that's life. you have three choices-wait for them to disappear, work through them, or find another way around them. until now, i was so nieve to the third choice. when you wait for them to disappear, you might as well beat youreself over the head with the butt of your rifle because that's about as much progress as your going to make. when you try to work through them, you have a 50/50 chance of success, they still exist and will never be forgotten. so, i'm moving on, hitting up the turntables, and finding another direction. as long as i keep my sights open, i don't really have much to lose. so here's a new the beginning of a new round with open possibilities. you take down your old targets, and load for a new position. keep in mind, you still remember your marks, but it's time to move past that and see what lies ahead.

2004-04-12T18:09:00.000-07:00

if by any chance you just came home from dance class and are sitting down at the computer, if you happen to scan by my site this is for you. i need you to know, or i want you to know, i love you, i still hang on to your picture everyday. don't try to interpret this or read in it, you'll only get lost. there's nothing left ot guess or try to figure, i love you, and i always have. every ten seconds, every blink 182 or indigo girls song, every soccer game you came to, even it was below freezing or you had a migrane. i love you...brian. every letter, every kiss (by the way it was the best), every day i spend with you was everything and i dream of just one more. i feel like everything is just another entry to a never ending journal or book. i wonder sometimes if you're even still out there. if you even read this junk. i just need some sort of reassurance, false hope, fabricated faith that you still remember and still feel. i love you and not even two months can change that. if you are still out there, if you by any chance get this, please give me a sign. anything that says that you haven't forgotten. sorry this wasn't a romeo/juliet poem or ideal memo. i just wish you'd know how much i still love you. missing you -me

2004-04-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

i know this is totally random...but the next chance you get, go see "blue collar comedy tour" on dvd or vhs. i haven't laughed soo hard in forever. redneck pride. here's you sign...i'm disappearin like a set of rims at a puff daddy concert. eric, wes, kenny, kyle, and frankie haha riding electric floor buffers till dawn

2004-03-22T19:32:00.000-08:00

this whole week has been weird... last night was particularly awkward...i'm trying to look at things from other people's shoes, but's i feel blind as hell.

2004-03-11T18:35:00.000-08:00

i wouldn't have thought another about it...but there she was and gosh was she beautiful. fabulous night, fabulous girl. can't wait until tomorrow

2004-02-28T15:16:00.000-08:00

and we move on blindly, even when we've wondered off the road, we blaze ourselves a new trail and try to forget the road signs that linger in memory. i just want to go back on that highway, i just want to ride down, i want to find myself again. find you and ride the rides that made us smile. i'm forever lost without you. i guess i'll take the side roads and hope they take me back to you someday. maybe we'll wreck, maybe you'll pass me, either way...i'm with you. until you let me go, so our roads spilt and i'll pave a way, i just hope it takes me downstream and washes me away. maybe i'll land on your shore.

2004-02-25T18:34:00.000-08:00

And something inside me
Fell off and shattered
Now I'm on my knees
Searching for the pieces
Of myself now scattered

I was told you have to walk
A mile in their shoes
I've sprinted their track
Around and back
But i'm still left confused

I hurt and it shows
I cry and you know
So now we're gone
But i can't move on

Eventually I'll find a way
To drift foward and accept
Another day
I have to pull through
But I wish I could say
I love you

2004-02-23T18:42:00.000-08:00

and in the blink of an eye, it feels that i might have lost everything. i never know that a few words could penetrate a heart so deeply. and here i am, not sure what to think, or believe. i don't know whether to reach out or draw back. is this real? please tell me it's not, because i'm not ready. i'm not ready to lose everything. just give me one last shot.

2004-02-20T14:10:00.000-08:00

Royal asked the other day "what do you want out of life, and would you give up to get there?" he also asked "what is one thing you want to be perfect at?" it got me to thinking about things. live big things. ambitions. goals. i don't know what i want out of life. if i could be perfect at one thing, i'd pick shooting. i would fire the impossible 300 every time. i don't know where i'm going orhow i'm going to get there...but i do know some of the stops i'd like to make on the way.

2004-02-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

you only have one shot, one round, take your aim, don't miss.